The Truth About Me pt.1

People are quick to judge me. They judge me by my looks, by the things I say or do, OR just how I am period. They never really try to get pass the shield I have up. They don't know shit I have been through. I didn't have a normal childhood, so I missed out on a lot of stuff. I missed out on socializing and stuff. I turned to books, and focused on school. It wasn't easy either. I hid my personal life from people. I stayed to myself. Most people look at me now and would have never known I was quiet in high school. I was quiet in some of my high schools. I have been to a total of 5. It's hard being the new kid all the time. I went from havin friends to having none, that is one reason I started keeping to myself. I figured that I wouldn't stay long enough to build a true friendship, so there wasn't a point trying. It is very rare that I am comfortable enough to share my past with people. Some people think I am weird, slow, crazy, bipolar, lame, a bitch, and other stuff. People hold things I have done in the past against me, even if it was an accident. Most of the time I say shit when I am really really mad that I don't mean it. I know I shouldn't say stuff, but I mean shit happens. People say they want to be friends or want to get to know me, but like always it's just talk. I have been hurt plenty of times, and my heart has been hurt too many times to count. I depended on people and they let me down. That's why I do trust easy and keep a GUARD UP. The first person I really opened up to was my best friend Dion. It wasn't easy either, I didn't tell him exactly when stuff happened, but I eventually did. The next person I opened up to was my friend Lavon. I felt I could trust him, but I am not sure if I can now. He really hasn't been a good of a friend like he should have. The next person I told was this dude name Antonio. I don't think he really gave a fuck when I told him. I told my bestie Ashley about my past and I know I can trust her. She has always been there for me. The family I am close with knows the truth about eveything. But now I want to tell the world...Looking at me most people would have never thought I have ever been homeless, but I have more then once. It is not a cool thing. It is very scary. I am a tough person and I am very strongwilled, but I am a very caring person. The stuff I have been through has made me tough. I used to care what people thought of me. I wanted to be accepted by everybody. But that was when I was little, now I could care less. I know who I am, and I shouldn't have to prove myself to anyone. I am one of the coolest persons most people will ever meet because I think outside the box. I value friendships a lot. I have known Dion since I was 14, and I am going on 21 now...I love him with all my heart. Gemini power lol. Wow the years have gone by I have learned a lot of lessons. I have learned some of them a lil late, but I have learned them. It's true when they say "it's better late then never". I changed people's names to their middle ones. ::Connie Ambitious::