Ri Ri

My Valentine's Day sucked. I didn't have a Valentines because he is an asshole.

6 Confident Boosters

It’s normal to have doubts in life. Things don’t always pan out, and you are bound to make mistakes in, say, love or a job interview . But there’s a problem with regularly assuming the worst outcome. Out of ego protection or a dip in self-assurance, you prepare for possible failure and, thus, inadvertently sabotage your chances.

How do you get out of this rut? You need to become cognizant of any pessimistic phrases you habitually feed yourself and switch your thinking to make it more cooperative with your ambitions. Kind of faking optimism. Here, six harmful thoughts and the instant trick to boost your confidence.

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #1: "I'm Not a People Person."

Many chicks resort to this spin to explain why they don’t effortlessly attract tons of attention at parties or keep people spellbound with witty conversation. But for the most part, it’s just an escape clause to avoid the awkwardness almost everyone feels when it comes to chatting and mingling.

“By ascribing it to your personality, you convince yourself that it’s something you can’t change and it isn’t your fault that you’re not a social butterfly,” explains life coach Judith Wright, author of The One Decision.

But the more you repeat this to yourself, the more it causes your social life to fester…leaving you less likely to connect with potential dates and pals. And this reinforces the idea that you’re just not good with people, trapping you in a negative cycle.

Mental flip: First, understand that pretty much everyone gets anxious when it comes to striking up conversations with strangers. Once you realize that this is very common, you won’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t leave an event with a bunch of new phone numbers, says Wright. Then redefine people person so that the new definition more realistically reflects your personality. For example, you might not be a natural party girl who meets dozens of guys or career contacts at every function, but you may be someone who’s really good at connecting with one or two interesting men or a potential boss.

“This is a much more positive way of thinking, so you’re more likely to succeed,” says Wright.

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #2: "If I Get Too Excited, I'll Jinx Things."

By some strange act of mental voodoo, you truly believe you’ll ruin a career move, a date with a new dude, or other awesome event by getting keyed up about it. “It’s a protective move: The only way not to be disappointed if things don’t work out is to keep your excitement muffled,” explains Lisa Firestone, PhD, coauthor of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice.

Problem is, when you stifle your enthusiasm, you’re subconsciously telling yourself that you don’t expect a happy ending...which affects your drive and, thus, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, others are likely to be influenced by your underlying negativity — say you’re going for a promotion but your boss senses a lack of passion, so you may not land the gig.

Mental flip: While it’s wise not to get so wound up that you put all of your eggs in one basket, you’ll increase your odds of success if you let yourself fully feel your excitement, says Firestone. In other words, daydream about that new guy becoming your boyfriend...but hold off on assuming he’s The One.

“When you allow yourself to imagine good things, the exhilaration fuels you and improves your chances of success,” says Firestone. “Even if things fail, your excitement makes you feel more alive and up for another try."

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #3: "I Hope I Don't Make Anyone Uncomfortable."

Often a chick will be so afraid of upsetting or imposing on another person that she never stretches her boundaries and makes waves in the world.

“When you become fearful of inconveniencing or offending others, it locks you in place,” says Wright. A few examples: not going after a guy you like be cause a buddy has a crush on him or never coming clean to your parents that you’d rather skip the home-for-the- holidays ritual this year in favor of a dream vacation to Hawaii.

Mental flip: Next time you find yourself worrying how something you want will affect others, ask yourself: This might make someone uncomfortable, but is their discomfort a valid reason for me not to go for what I want? As long as you’re not lying, cheating, or carelessly causing someone pain, you owe it to yourself to pursue your goals.

“Start to truly believe that it isn’t necessarily your problem if someone else becomes upset,” says Wright. You don’t want to be a thoughtless jerk, but you can’t always put other people’s happiness before your own.

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #4: "I'm in Way Over My Head."

When life gets tough — like if you have started a new job and are sweating under the pressure — it’s a common knee-jerk reaction to conclude that you don’t have what it takes to deal.

“Many women view a challenge as something that magnifies their flaws, and they withdraw rather than fight because they don’t want to look foolish or incompetent,” says Wright. The result: When you reflexively think that you can’t handle something, you never find out what you’re truly capable of.

Mental flip: Whenever you encounter this kind of difficulty, don’t look at it as an automatic roadblock but rather as an opportunity to prove yourself. Get your mojo pumping by imagining how amazing you’ll feel after you successfully tackle the job. “Visualize yourself after the pressure is over, when you’re satisfied and proud of what you’ve accomplished,” says Wright.

Another way to change your thinking is to pretend that the little voice telling you that you aren’t up for the challenge is coming from someone who wants to see you falter, like a nasty coworker or ex-friend. “This is a great motivator in pushing you out of a comfort zone because you’ll show that voice that it’s wrong,” says Wright.

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #5: "They Know I Want It, So They'll Come to Me."

This is what you tell yourself when you’re waiting for your boss to offer you a raise or for your guy to bring you flowers for no reason. “It’s a way of avoiding speaking up for yourself or asking for what you want,” explains Dan Neuharth, PhD, author of Secrets You Keep from Yourself.

So why do so many women think this way? Maybe you have a sense of entitlement — you believe that you deserve the raise and, therefore, shouldn’t have to ask. Or perhaps you think asking for it sucks the integrity out of getting what you want. So when you’re bypassed for the job or your guy brings home a six-pack instead of a dozen roses, you get angry or annoyed.

Mental flip: Consider this: The temporary discomfort of asking for what you want is way less painful than not getting it. “If you want something badly enough, the rewards of speaking up outweigh any awkwardness,” says Neuharth.

Doing this also puts you in charge of your own happiness so you don’t end up waiting around for someone else to make things happen for you...nor are you sitting around assuming that people can read your mind. “Your unspoken expectations may not be on the other person’s radar at all,” says Neuharth. “It’s perfectly okay to remind them.”

DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT #6: "It'll Happen if It's Meant to Be."

This mantra makes you think that cosmic forces will miraculously drop opportunities in your lap...without your having to do any heavy lifting. “By convincing yourself something is out of your control, what you’re really saying is that you’re afraid to make the first move,” says Wright. So when a job opening you hear about through the grapevine doesn’t seem to materialize or the fabulous apartment you applied for goes to someone else, you conclude that it wasn’t in the cards.

Mental flip: You can affect fate...by taking action. Often it’s a matter of making a few tiny moves to get the ball rolling. “One or two small steps give you momentum to take others until you’ve made progress achieving your goal,” says Firestone.

If you follow up on the job lead or dial up the landlord of the apartment you’re after and make it clear that you’re the right person to sign the lease, at least you’ll be able to take credit for your success, says Firestone, instead of leaving it to slippery concepts like karma or luck.

Why Being Overly Confident Isn’t Smart Either
These rah-rah statements actually undermine your goals.

“It’s my destiny.”Thinking that you’re fated to do something makes you forgo the work it really takes.
“I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.” Pinning your hopes on one scenario can be devastating if it fails.
“I’m a natural at it.” When your “natural” gift backfires on you, it’s a major blow to your self-esteem.
“There’s nothing to worry about.” If you believe this, then you’re practically asking to be blindsided.

credit

The Single Girl's Valentine's Day

1. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re alone! Round up some unattached chicks and hit the bars, a restaurant, the local karaoke joint, the bowling lanes, whatever. Revel in your ability to have an amazing time, no men needed. —Katriona, 30

2. Whether it’s George Clooney or Johnny Depp, spend the night with your ultimate celeb crush. Rent a handful of his movies and treat yourself to an eye-candy marathon. —Jillian, 22

3. Organize a Secret Admirers gifting sesh, à la Secret Santa: You and a group of friends draw names and then deliver items like chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears to each other. That way everyone can have a Valentine... —Mary, 23

4. Since you aren’t spending your dough on some dude, might as well spend it on yourself. Give yourself some credit for how amazing you are and treat yourself to something special like a mani-pedi, a new necklace, or a blow-out at the salon. —Aubrey, 27

5. Ask a guy friend out for a platonic date and split a meal at a tasty restaurant. Make a game out of your dinner discussion by looking around the restaurant at all the couples (there will be a ton!) and guessing which ones will actually last, based on their body language. —Karen, 24

6. Be a rebel and convince your co-worker bestie to play hooky with you. Instead of sitting in meetings or watching other chicks get flowers delivered to their cubes, you and your pal can go shopping, take a day trip somewhere fun (like skiing!), or catch a new chick flick, sans the crowded theater. —Julie, 25

7. Party at your place! Invite friends over for wine, appetizers, gossiping, and good times. To mix it up, make it a theme party, like suggesting that everyone wear all pink (or black, if you caught the “Singles Awareness Day” bug) and create an iPod playlist with songs like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and “Holding Out for a Hero.” —Lauren, 21

CREDIT

Valentines Day For Him

Valentine’s Day is a loaded holiday when it comes to picking out the right gift for your man. What you buy reflects how you see him and the relationship, so you want to get something thoughtful, creative, and appropriate for the amount of time you’ve been together. We know guys are notoriously tough to shop for, so our guide is full of great outside-the-box ideas for every stage of coupledom. And while you are shopping, don't forget to pick up a little something for yourself.


Less Than 3 Months

If you’ve just started dating, keep your gift casual. At this point, anything expensive or too personal will send a scary I-like-you-a-little-too-much message. Plan to spend around $20-$25 on something simple but sweet, like a DVD of a movie he really liked — such as The Hangover) — or a book by one of his favorite authors (A Michael Crichton novel was just published).

3-6 Months

This is a tricky in-between phase: You’re an official couple, but are still getting to know each other. Impress him by finding something creative that’s totally him. For example, if he’s always taking pictures, get him a gorillapod.

7-11 Months

Okay, things are starting to get serious (even if he’s yet to admit it). A fun gift for this stage in the relationship is an experience you can have together, so you’ll build more shared memories. Try tickets to a concert (The Black Eyed Peas and Bon Jovi are touring in February) or an NBA or NHL game.

1-2 Years

You’ve crossed over into the long-term commitment zone, so this is a great time to commemorate your relationship or show off how well you know him. Frame a cute picture of the two of you (have it printed out nicely, in black and white), or find something that will remind him of a fun time you had together. You can spend a bit more now that you’re pretty serious ($100-$200, depending on your budget) on a big-ticket item. Here's a really cool idea: ballpark cuff links made from the stadium seats from his favorite team.

More Than 3 Years
After years of birthdays and holidays together, it gets tougher and tougher to come up with surprising gifts. A lot of women just grab stuff he needs, like socks or new button-downs, which is nice and all...but boring. Instead, get him a present where he’ll learn something new. If he’s adventurous, book him an exciting experience, like a flying lesson or hang gliding. (Excitations.com offers a ton of amazing gift ideas.) Or, book a weekend getaway at a romantic hotel in a nearby town where you can spend lots and lots of time in bed.

Found at CLICK HERE

New Anthem

I split your cabbage and your lettuce and olives


DROP THE WORLD




(Lil Wayne)
I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but I’m cursed, so never mind
And it’s worse, but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in, no room for a n*gga
But soon for a n*gga it be on, mu’f*cka
‘Cause all the bullshit, it made me strong, mu’f*cka

So I pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
Bitch, I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherf*cker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherf*cker
I’m gone
Motherf*cker, I’m gone

I know what they don’t wanna tell you
Just hope you’re heaven-sent, and you’re hell-proof
I-I walk up in the world and cut the lights off
And confidence is the stain they can’t wipe off
Huh, my word is my pride
But wisdom is bleak, and that’s a word from the wise
Served to survive, murdered and bribed
And when it got too heavy I put my burdens aside

So I could pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
Bitch, I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherf*cker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherf*cker
I’m gone
Motherf*cker, I’m gone (I’m gone)

(Eminem)
It hurts, but I never show this pain you’ll never know
If only you could see just how lonely and how cold
And frostbit I’ve become, my back’s against the wall
When push come to shove, I just stand up and scream “F*ck ‘em all”

Man, it feels like these walls are closing in
This roof is caving in, up its time to razor-thin
Your days are numbered like pagers and
My book of rhymes, got ‘em cookin’, boy
This crooked mind of mine got ‘em all
Shook and scared to look in my eyes
I stole that f*ckin’ clock
I took the time and I
Came up from behind
And pretty much snuck up
And butt-f*cked this game up
Better be careful when you bring my name up
F*ck this fame, that ain’t what
I came to claim but the game
Ain’t gonna be the same on the day that I leave it
But I swear one way or another I’ma make these f*ckin’ haters believe that
I swear to God, won’t spare the rod
I’m a man of my word, so your f*ckin’ heads better nod
Or I’ma f*ck around in this bitch and roast everybody
Sleep on me, that pillow is where your head’ll lie
Permanently, bitch, it’s beddy-bye
This world is my Easter egg, yeah, prepare to die
My head is swole, my confidence is up
This stage is my pedestal
I’m unstoppable, incredible
Hope you’re trapped in my medicine ball
I could run circles around you so fast your f*ckin’ head’ll spin, dog
I split your cabbage and your lettuce and olives
I’ll f*ckin’

Pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
Bitch, I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherf*cker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherf*cker
I’m gone
Motherf*cker, I’m gone (I’m gone)

Look what CONNIE means lol

1. Connie

Connie's are usually absolutely gorgeous girls. They have a love for bright colours and are usually hyper-active. They are known to come out with random things. Connie's are totally unpredictable! Boys are always chasing after Connie's (pffft not fair!!!) Everybody knows that if you are friends with a Connie you are special.
Connie is also a fish name.


2.Connie

short nickname for constance also a friendly person.

3.Connie

Connie is short for Constance or Consuela. You will most likely find a Connie meditating in the middle of the street, running around with a tutu screaming "OYSTER SAUCE", or playing dead in the middle of an elevator. Just because she doesn't give a &*^%. Connie's are fun, pretty, weird, and stylish. If you have a Connie, hold on to her, because she is special.

4.Connie

A kind, sweet, beautiful girl who is also surprisingly outgoing yet lacks self esteem. She loves to hang out and has a personality to die for. Meeting a Connie results in love at first sight for most people, and Connie's are usually asked out on a regular basis. Many other girls are generally jealous of a Connie. Connie's also have great bodies and are usually super hot. Most guys are jealous of the boyfriend of a Connie. Most of the time guys that Connie's dates turn out to be regrettable. Usually, it is said that a Connie will tell her best friends that she would have rather dated the guys she rejected than the ones she actually dated. Connie's are very thoughtful people and if you have one, never let go because you've got a treasure unlike any other!!

5.Connie

The most beautiful girl in the world, also a hottie with a body, most deffinatley. Connies are amazing! If you ever meet a girl named Connie, bow down to her.. and RESPECT her. Connies may become famous some day... so u might want to get to know her. shes a cool kid.

10.Connie

Term used to discuss cocaine, like "mary jane" was for pot.
Who wants to party with Connie tonight?

CREDIT

I want this guy

I'm the guy who will call you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams.

I'm the guy who will call you and tell you "i love you and you make me smile" just because.

I'm the guy who will blindfold you and take you to the beach, let you run your toes through the sand and then make you guess where we are.

I'm the guy who will hold you when you're crying and wipe away your tears.

I'm the guy who won't pressure you to do things you dont want to.

I'm the guy who still thinks you're beautiful with no makeup on, wearing sweats and a big t-shirt.

I'm the guy who kisses you on the forehead.

I'm the guy who doesn't kiss and tell.

I'm the guy who won't lie to you about where he's going or where he's been or who he's been with.

I'm the guy who'll randomly tickle you just to hear you giggle.

I'm the guy who actually listens to you when you talk.

I'm the guy who's excited all day because i'm looking forward to our date that night.

I'm the guy who is content to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more.

I'm the guy who can't help but smile when you walk into the room.

I'm the guy who'll say i love you first because i'm not afraid to say it.

I'm the guy who's perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.

I'm the guy who gets butterflies when he hears your name.

I''m the guy who's not afraid to tell his friends he loves you.

I'm the guy who doesnt mess with other girls when i have you.

I'm the guy who doesn't care about your imperfections and loves you more for them.

I'm the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset.

I'm the guy that makes you laugh when you're down, makes you happy when you're mad, and makes you smile when you're frowning.

I'm the guy that isn't afraid to eat ice cream with you when you're having a bad day.

I'm the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren't feeling well.

I'm the guy who isn't always trying to act like a hard ass around you.

I'm the guy who will still be your best friend even after we break up.

I'm the guy you call when you have no one else to turn to.

I'm the guy that will come pick your drunk ass up at 3 am when I have to be up at 8.

I'm the guy that tells you the right thing to do or how I really feel, not just what you want to hear.

I'm the guy that loves you for you and not what my friends think of you.

I'm the guy that will love you even when you do something so retarded that I normally wouldn't want to be seen with you.

I'm the guy that is always loyal no matter what.

I'M THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

Ladies if this is your perfect guy, repost this with the title "I want this guy"

Guys if this is you, repost this with the title "I am this guy"

*A POEM FOR US GIRLS *

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends,
about the size of my a--.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and, yes, it takes long.
At least I admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a b---.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at ME you idiot...
Not at my chest !!
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you D***!?!
Now, you must forward this
to at least 4 FEMALES
or you will have
a HORRIBLE streak
of bad love life.

5 Careers You Can Start at Any Age

In-demand jobs often require specific degrees or career training, but you shouldn't feel discouraged if you lack the necessary education.
Today's abundance of online education options means you're never too old to go back to school, and many online degree programs cater specifically to the busy lives of working adults. By working and attending school online, you can prepare for your next job without sacrificing your current income. The following jobs are expected to grow faster than average from 2008 to 2018, and each requires training that can be achieved at any age.

1. Physical Therapist Assistant

Physical therapist assistants help physical therapists rehabilitate patients, including accident victims and sufferers of debilitating diseases. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), employment of physical therapist assistants is expected to grow 33 percent thru 2018, much faster than the national average. In 2008, these assistants earned an average of $46,140.

Physical therapist assistants must earn an associate's degree in physical therapy from an accredited program. These programs generally last two years and prepare students for state licensing. If you're interested in becoming a physical therapist assistant, career training and online education can help you make the transition.

2. Registered Nurse

Registered nurses help doctors treat, diagnose, and care for patients in hospitals, doctors' offices, and care centers. Nurses make up the largest employment group within health care, and their numbers are expected to grow by another 22 percent from 2008 to 2018. According to the BLS, registered nurses earned an average of $62,450 in 2008.

To prepare for licensing, nurses must earn at least an associate's degree in nursing from an accredited nursing program. Associate's degree programs take approximately two years to complete, while programs offering a bachelor's degree in nursing take about four years. Online degree programs can help you train for a career in nursing without leaving your current job.

3. Elementary School Teacher

If you have a passion for learning and enjoy working with kids, a career as an elementary school teacher may be a good fit. Elementary school teachers teach multiple subjects to students from kindergarten through sixth grade, emphasizing understanding, responsibility, and consideration. According to the BLS, elementary school teachers earned an average of $49,330 in 2008, and the field is expected to grow by 16 percent from 2008 to 2018.

To teach in public schools, elementary school teachers must earn a bachelor's degree and graduate from a teacher education program. With online classes available, it's never too late to return to school and qualify to become a teacher.

4. Computer Software Engineer

Computer software engineers use principles of computer science and mathematics to design and develop software. From computer games to networking systems, the programs developed by computer software engineers help computers function in our everyday lives. The BLS expects employment of computer software engineers to increase by 34 percent thru 2018, which means plenty of opportunities to enter the field. In 2008, these engineers earned an average of $85,430.

To become a computer software engineer, you need to earn a bachelor's degree in computer science, software engineering, mathematics, or a related field. Some positions require a master's degree in computer science, and all expect employees to be up-to-date with new technologies and computer systems. Online degree programs in computer science and software engineering can prepare you for a career in this innovative field, regardless of your age or schedule.

5. Management Analyst

Management analysts (also called management consultants) are business experts that help companies solve problems to remain competitive. Management analysts must think strategically and come up with innovative, effective solutions for their clients. In 2008, management analysts earned an average of $73,570, and the BLS expects their employment to increase by 24 percent in the next decade.

Competition for management analyst positions is intense, and often a master's of business administration (MBA) degree is required. Online business degrees are increasingly common, so it's possible to enhance your industry knowledge with a formal degree.

Taking the Next Step

These five careers prove that opportunities exist across industries, and it's not too late to transition into a field you're passionate about. With online degree programs and career training options, you can reach your education goals without giving up your current job and lifestyle.

by Jessica Hanley, FindtheRightSchool.com
Found at CLICK HERE

All kinds of wrong but so what

i dont even want to know how this made. i still want it. clogged arteries. oh well. still looks yummy.

HBCU

I am trying to figure out what Historial Black College or University I want to attend after these years are up at PSC. I have my eye on Howard University, and I had my eye on it ever since I was little. I mean I grew up down the street from Howard so it's always been my number one choice.

Deep Stuff

The English poet John Donne was right.

No man (or woman) is an island. Our overall physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental make-up is engineered towards seeking, forming and maintaining long-term relationships with others. We are inherently social beings. Regardless of how independent, capable, or accomplished we are, we need other people. We need our friends, our family members, and we need significant others. Men need women and visa versa, because our unique differences are designed to compliment and celebrate each other, and thus create cohesiveness; a connection that is mutually comforting and rewarding.

Could we imagine our lives without those we love? Relationships are fundamental to our society. Relationships are what make us human. Despite the rewards of human interaction, particularly with the opposite sex, finding someone to love and share your life with is often the most arduous undertaking wrought with disappointment, disillusionment, and heartache.How can finding a spouse be so difficult, when each of us are craving and seeking after that?

Marriage, after all, is the most important commitment we enter into and the one worth searching after, protecting, nurturing, and sustaining. Yet with the media perpetuating wildly different ideals about love, many of us are left perplexed, even disillusioned, wondering what is love—real love? Contrary to popular belief, there is, indeed, a difference between infatuation and love. And there is a difference between lust and love. Love is grown into; it develops over time. While, Hollywood would have us believe love can be maneuvered into and out of as easily as the "drive thru" window at McDonald’s, such is not the case. It is a clear indication that our society has an unrealistic, if not diluted, view of love. There is love, and there is infatuation, and, though related, they are distinctly different. Let us examine the qualities and characteristics of love versus infatuation:

Infatuation:

*Develops rather rapidly

*Based on limited characteristics

*Based on the emotion itself

*Is self-centered

*Is multi-person centered

*Changes rapidly

*Loses touch with reality

*Largely outward or physical

*Insecure/Insecurities

*Jealous/Possessiveness

Love:

*Is grown into

*Based on the whole person

*Focuses on the person with whom you are involved

*Is other-centered

*Demonstrates a deep commitment to one person

*Is a gradual development

*Maintains balance of life and priorities

*Involved the total relationship

*Secure/Security

*Trust/Faith


That having been established let us examine two examples, both taken from movies, of different relationships between men and women. Thusly, we shall determine which of two are based on sincere, genuine love as opposed to mere infatuation.

First, there is the recent blockbuster The Notebook. The two love interests are often seen together in the troughs of steamy passion—they simply cannot get enough each other, so they are constantly "all over each other." They certainly loved the idea of each other, but that does not equate to real love.

On the other hand, there is the example illustrated by the original version of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice produced by the British Broadcasting Company (or the BBC). Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy do eventually fall in love and get married in the end, but they did not immediately warm up to each other. It took years before they transformed their relationship from that of mere acquaintances to a good, healthy friendship that then developed from mutual respect to a deeply felt love that inspired them to commit to each other; to share their lives together and thus get married.

Undoubtedly passion and romance are important in marriage, but mutual respect, a genuine desire to serve each other and support each other, and a willingness to work at the relationship— together is vital to the longevity and sustainability of a marriage, as well. Intimacy is often misconstrued as being synonymous with sexual interactions, while, in reality, intimacy involves a closeness between two people; a profound sense of connection that involves a mental, emotional, and spiritual investment, in addition to physical attraction.

With that, for those of you who want the fairy tale, keep in mind a fairy tale is just that. It is not reality. This is not to say that marriage cannot be a truly blissful, beautiful experience. Much to the contrary!

Marriage is richly blesses and enhances our lives, as do all of our closely knitted relationships. Yet, marriage, because of its sacred nature, ought to be entered into lightly nor hastily. It takes time. It takes work. A relationship requires a long-term commitment, and a daily, constant effort demonstrated by both persons involved. Marriage is no exception. Marriage is single-handedly, the most important life decision we make, and thus it is worth investing time into finding someone who is not only compatible, but someone with whom a mutual respect, a deep sense of care and concern, and similar values are shared. Such are vital ingredients to any relationship, especially marriage, and such feelings develop over time. In sum, relationship is an investment of time, as well as love, which, in turn, continues to grow and deepen over time. Is it not amazing that the better we get to know someone, the more we care for them and the more we love them? They even become more attractive, on all levels, because of the quality time we put forth into our relationship with that person. As you search for love and happiness, keep in mind that everything worthwhile requires time and effort. And if love is greatest of gifts (which it is) then, be not afraid of investing your time, energy, talents, and all that comprises the person who are into finding that person with whom you want to share your life.


via buzzle.com

::you asked me if you were the best i ever had. i replied yes. what you didn't know was that i lied!:: ~swey