Last Night, I decided to dye my hair back to lt. blonde. I was going to dye it a dark red, but since Rihanna dyed her hair red, all hell has broke loose. So I decided to go back blonde. I really wanted my hair red but when all of Rihanna's cunt riders hop off I will consider it.
Anywho, I dyed it blonde and I noticed the ends wasn't taking the color right sooooooooooo, I cut my ends off. Yeah that's right. I just couldn't do it anymore. I think my ends was damage or something. *random thought some TACO BELL would be good right now* I cut A LOT OF MY HAIR OFF. It's like the same length as the Summer of 2009. Oh well it was for the best. I rather have me cut my hair off then it fall off by itself.
I have to make myself blog because I will not do it lol. I have to start my ten weeks challenge over because I was too busy to keep up wit it. I have been on m tumblr. That shit is addicting. I love blogger though because ppl actuall read my shit. I am tryin go fix things with one of my ex's. I am trying to be cool with him because of that fall out. I was the one at fault but he was a lil bit at fault though too. Everytime we are each other we just vibe off each other. He might deny it, but it's true lol. He is a lil cocky somebody. I really feel like we are going to be cool again. I spent 4 hours on oovoo with him last night. All I kept thinkin about was his lips. He is an amazing kisser. I wouldn't tell him that though because it will go to his head. Everything is turning out good. I am not runnig from life. I will face it head on. I will start speaking my ttue feelings and thoughts no holding back.
Things I need to do:
Get the side of my laptop looked at
get the side of my camera fixed
make semester plans for bsu
look for job
get focuesed for the SP2011 school year (I want a 3.4 or 3.5 GPA)
I have no real job, but I am still gettin PAID. It's a blessing truly. Money is coming out of no where lol. I want a stable job to support myself though. I WANT TO WORK. I WANT TO HAVE A JOB. I WANT TO HAVE STABLE INCOME, but no one is trying to hire yours truly because of cheerleading. smh.
::Connie Ambitious::
12/19/2010
Now with all that stuff in the other post begin said...It's time for me to hustle...I am going to to put in overtime this new year. I swear.
As the year comes to an end I start to reflect on things I have did. I look back and it truly hasn't been much. I have had some wonderful times this year, some real wonderful times. I just don't feel like I did much. I am still in the same situation which is no job, and little to no money. I am trying to look for a job and school is getting in the way. Well it's more like tha activties I am in...Black Student Union is fine and dandy, but cheerleading might just have to get cut...Coach is making her money...but I am not...so I am putting cheering at the bottom of my priorities. I am not really all that good anyways.
So I going to look for a job and not take in consideration that I have to cheer. Hey the boys stink anyway. I am mad right now. I don't feel like being nice and taking ppl's feeling in consideration. Why should I care about theirs when they wouldn't give fuckin shits about mines. So this new year...I am thinkin about ME and only ME...and only ME. I am the only one that can look out for me. Sure friends and family are cool, but really...to tell you think truth they aren't that much of a help...all they do is give u encouragement...I dont need that shit..that's not doing to put food in my belly...that's not going to put food on my back...that's not going fix a mothafucking thing. To tell you the truth it will go in one ear and right out the other BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IM GOING THROUGH.
Ppl want me to come visit them and shit, but I have to do all the work, the traveling, and all the planning, for what? So I can see you? I mean that's cool in all, but I am only leaving my problems for a short period.. you are all fine and dandy, but when I leave I have to go home to the same shit. Problems.
Which brings me to another thing...ppl always want me to do shit for them. Can you help me with this? Can you do that? Can you give me this? Can you visit me? I always say YES...I am going to say FUCK NO. I know helping ppl out is a good thing...but who is there to help me out NO FUCKING BODY...just my grams and my othe granddad. Ppl want to see me and all this shit. I have to find money to get there. I am not helping out ppl any more. I will only if I am getting something out of it. Why should I just help out? It is pointless because I am the one sitting ass out with nothing in the end, but the knowledge of knowing I did a good deed.
It's a whole lot of money out there and I am ready to take it. I don't have anyone...so ppl saying they are here for me and shit is just that SHIT. They are just there to say they are there. but they are not.
Ppl always say I am crazy. and that's only because I tell the DEADASS truth *sometimes, but I will starting now*. I am not being nice that SHIT GETS YOU NOWHERE BUT WORRIES AND PROBLEMS. Man fuck that. I got in this world of sin is ME AND ME...so in 2011 please except me:
NOT GIVING A FUCK
LOOKIN OUT FOR ME FIRST
SAY NO A LOT
BEING A BITCH
BEING STUCK UP
AND GETTIN SHIT DONE
OH AND NOT GIVIN A FUCK
and I am done for now but there will be more. Oh if you stop talking to me, or associating with me or anything like that I GIVES NO FUCK. So get use to it. Trust it. I will still do what I have to do with school and BSU, but when I am thats all ima be on is gettin out of there and lookin out ofr me.
FUCK LOVE
FUCK FRIENDS & FRIENDS
Now a lot of ppl think they are my friends but TRUTH BE TOLD, and it's being told right now....YOU REALLY AREN'T. Most ppl annoy me, and I am pretty sure I annoy them...but I GIVES NO FUCK....
School is officially out for the winter. I am going to be out of school for a whole month. I have no idea what I am going to be doing. I know one thing that cheerleading is the last of my worries.
I am not even sure if i passed my finals. When I tell you I have been slippin. I have been doing just that.
I have been on my tumblr click this. I absolutely love tumblr. I need to find so ends.::Connie Ambitious::
12/14/2010
Money is always an issue. I never seem to have it enough of it, that's why finsihing school is soooooooo important to me. I need the job so I can support myself and my love ones. I want to have freedom to do or buy whatever I want. I don't like being dependent on others. It makes me feel like shit low key. I think why can't you make your own money. I am 20 years old. I am in college and I am cheerleading. The cheerleading is usually want fucks things up...not this next semester...I got morning classes. The evenings will be free...well not really because I will be working possibly. God Please hear my plea.
I have been working on a paper all day. I really dont want to write it.
It along with some other papers were due weeks ago. I should have done the paper when i was giving instead of waiting. I have a final tomorrow. I really don't know if I am doing to go well on it. It is open notes and open book, but I sold my book back for money. I am going to finish this second paper and start working on the 3rd one. I REALLY HOPE i PASS THIS CLASS. i WANT TO PASS ALL MY CLASSES. BIO, MATH, AND HUMANITIES. i HAVE TO MAKE UP MINUTES IN GYM. i HAVE BEEN FUCKING UP THIS SEMESTER. i SWEAR. i WILL NOT BE DOING THIS SHIT NEXT SEMESTER FOR REAL. WELL I AM GOING BACK TO WRITE THIS PAPER AND STUDY.
